Anniversary, Valentine's Day= A Tough February

Some things still catch me off guard. I have thought a lot about the anniversary of Ron's death on February 24th. I have projects in progress and am busy but have found that I need extended times of total quiet and a darkened room to help me think and process my feelings, memories, and sadness. Valentine's Day is especially hard. I didn't expect it to be so much different than other holidays. But other holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries have been about family and friends, too, so of course traditions could be carried on. But Valentines Day was about us as a couple, and Ron had been my Valentine since we were teenagers. So I am missing that tradition, that exchange of sentiment, and that sharing of our feelings for each other. It's not gone, but Ron is. I miss him every day. There are things that make me painfully aware of all we had as a couple, as a family, so it seems fair that the sadness comes in equal measure. How grateful I am for our long good-by and for not having regrets to work through. How grateful I am for family and friends who lift me up with their support. How grateful I am for my internalized memories and for memories documented with pictures, written words, and videos.