Happy New Year 2015!!

I don't think I had ever realized how much reflection and anticipation I experienced at the turn of the calendar to a new year. It usually was a pleasant review of the year's accomplishments and making broad goals and plans for the new year...and throw in a new year resolution or two. This year I struggled to look ahead with joyful anticipations of plans for the new year. In fact, it felt daunting at times. Five years ago at this time we were making plans for a trip to Savannah and then to Florida to break up our Michigan winter. Ron was already experiencing the first symptoms of acute myeloid leukemia a month before our trip. By the time we were in Florida, he was quite ill but did not agree to see a doctor until we returned to Michigan. He was hospitalized that day and transferred to U of M Hospitals. And our journey began.
So where are we now, and what can we expect for 2015? We have endured a lot, and so I think I tried to look at the whole year at a glance, and that was overwhelming, so I am starting to chunk and compartmentalize. It makes things manageable to be able to do this. The unknowing is both a relief and a stressor, so I start to look at smaller chunks of time and disregard the big picture because there are too many unknowns. I have put a lot of thought into this strategy. The fall trip, the Thanksgiving trip to Virginia, Christmas shopping, preparing boxes to mail, Christmas festivities, Christmas cards, decorating, etc. were projects that chunked up the last 3 months for me. Then I had to face the new year and its unknowns head on. I, at first, tried to look at the big picture too much, and that is impossible to do in our situation. There is no way to know what to expect, but in all likelihood there will be more health crises. And we will do what we need to do and find joy in life experiences along the way.