In like a lion...

Sometimes it feels like I have a lot to mentally digest. I have just finished reading Still Alice, and it brought to mind many milestones that we have had to journey through. I couldn't help but compare and contrast Ron's brain changes to Alice, the main character who was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's disease. Ron's cognitive disorder is not Alzheimer's or another dementia. That is one thing that was agreed on by his neurologist, the neuro-psyc doc, and Ron's speech therapist.
Alice seemed so real that I thought this book was a memoir written by her family, not fiction. I could relate to her denial, compensation, and explanations that she hung onto before finally accepting that something was wrong. I remember the moment when I faced that scary unknown head-on and physically experienced a dark, and what felt like an evil, presence. I knew something was horribly wrong with Ron's thinking. He had had cognitive and personality changes for six months following a hospitalization in the ICU for several issues; this was two years ago. This book made me rehash those experiences. Rehashing is good for me; it brings understanding and makes me thankful that Ron's long term memory is quite intact, and his short term memory isn't terrible. His brain changes affect his mobility and problem solving skills mostly. So what does that mean? He doesn't have good balance so must use his walker, a four prong cane, and when we're in a store he pushes a shopping cart for balance. He has repetitive behaviors like buying the same items repeatedly, adding a blanket to his chair repeatedly. Yesterday when I cleaned around his chair, he had 9 blankets, 50+ pens and markers in various containers, index cards in various sizes, notebooks, 3 pairs of gloves, three stocking hats, caps; and it had only been a couple days. Ron is Usually very laid back, calm and accepting of "how he is", so I am grateful for this, and we have mostly enjoyable days.
I have been writing this entry for a week and didn't want it to sound melodramatic. I am glad to see the arrival of March! I feel like spring will be especially uplifting this year. Ron and I are trying to decide what to do about our lake house. It really is too much for us, but we would still like a place on the lake. We are looking at a house a second time this week. It has many good features but drawbacks too. The timing of all of this is mind boggling! I keep telling myself that it will play out like it's meant to, and there's no harm in taking things slowly.