No More

The rain has changed to snowfall to a cold, windy, blue skies day. This seems more like Ohio February. Ron has his fuzzy blankets, and I am wrapped in a yellow prayer shawl that my niece Kara has passed on to me. The emphasis for Ron's care is comfort, and I have found comfort in Kara's shawl.
Ron continues to have chest pain periodically through the day. It is sharp pain in his lungs, and the oxycodone brings him relief. He can now have half doses between his scheduled doses if needed. Today was scheduled to be an "Ann Arbor Day"; it was time for his February immunity infusion. The renal failure and fall at home were the tipping point which has led to Hospice care. The stress on his heart from renal and respiratory distress led to some heart damage. There were just too many things going on this time. Even Ron said, it's different this time." Yesterday he told me that he felt like his whole body was disintegrating, and he ached all over. He also had a dream that he was walking device-free down a long alley. On the right was a bright yellow house that he had helped to paint. On the left was a huge medical complex. As he walked down the alley, doors opened from the hospital, and carousels came out that had medical care staff revolving on them. As each new carousel came out a door, he would say, "no more" and keep walking.